Rebel Heroes Not So Rebel

I’ve introduced a ton of my friends to various bahn mi delis in the Falls Church area (the Mecca of Vietnamese food). For the majority of the people who I have brought there, drunk or sober, they have thoroughly enjoyed the many different Vietnamese sandwiches Falls Church has to offer. A little background information before I go into my review.

Vietnam was ruled and heavily influenced by China for hundreds of years. Both countries share similar customs, holidays, traditions, and most importantly in the context of this article food. After Vietnam defeated China and gained independence they were conquered by the French, eight hundred years later, for about a hundred years. The hundred year rule by France brought a lot of bad things but the best result of it in my opinion is the fusion of French and Vietnamese cooking. Honestly you could say that Vietnam was the first Asian country to implement Fusion cooking on a national scale.

Out of this fusion of food emerged the Bahn Mi sandwich. There are a lot of different types and variations of the Bahn Mi but the most commonly eaten Bahn Mi sandwich consist of the following:

• Fresh Vietnamese French Bread (Light, airy, crunchy, fresh)
• Asian Mayonnaise (Does not taste like Hellmans or Kraft mayo)
• Heads Cheese (google this is you do not know what it is)
• Pate
• Ham
• Fresh Pickled Carrots and Daikon
• Fresh Cucumber
• Fresh Cilantro
• Fresh Chili Peppers

I hope you’ve noticed how many times I’ve emphasized fresh in my list. Vietnamese food uses a lot of raw vegetables; raw vegetables tastes best when FRESH.

Rebel Heroes is a food truck that serves variations of the Bahn Mi sandwich. When I found out about them I was both excited and a bit disappointed as I have had the idea of doing the same thing in the Arlington area. I finally found time on a weekday (they’re close on the weekends) to try out Rebel Heroes a few weeks ago. As I was walking up to Rebel Heroes with Jason I see my friend Johnny (yes, Johnny is Vietnamese and he knows what good Vietnamese food is) with his girlfriend eating Bahn Mi sandwiches. He immediately tells me that it’s not worth trying but I’ve already made the trek so there’s not point in not trying the food. After perusing the menu I end up ordering the Roast Pork Banh Mi sandwich ($5.50) while Jason orders Che-Che-Chicken with mild lime mayo ($6.00). Needless to say the experience was underwhelming.

There was so much wrong with the sandwich I don’t even know where to begin. The bread was stale and chewy, the meat was dry and bland, the mayonnaise tasted like Hellmans, the carrots and daikon were not fully pickled, and the vegetables were not fresh. Jason’s sandwich had the same problems. The owner, a mid 30s Vietnamese woman, was nice and service was amicable but good lord the food is bad and pricey. A Bahn Mi sandwich is only $3.00 - $3.50 in Falls Church. If that’s an unfair comparison since Arlington is a higher priced area then take a look at all the other sandwich/hoagie shops in the area: Panera, Teeters, Subway, Whole Foods, etc. Those places also offer free water and a nice climate controlled seating area. What irked me the most and caused me to write this review were the favorable reviews that other professional reviewers were giving Rebel Heroes.

I understand and know that objectively reviewing food is incredibly difficult especially with ethnic foods you have never tried. I am far from being a food expert but I have eaten at more establishments than I can remember and grew up in a food oriented family. The Washington Post’s Catherine Barker writes, “The meat in her signature Roast Pork Banh Mi ($5) is thinly sliced and moist, nestled in an airy baguette with bright cilantro, jalapeño slices, pickled carrots and daikon radish.” (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/01/AR2010060100786.html I know I am citing my references incorrectly but I’m too lazy to break out the MLA handbook.) Last time I checked bread is pretty much a universal food. If you can’t tell the difference between good and bad bread then you shouldn’t be reviewing anything. In the Washington City Paper.com Time Carman writes, “hate to put so much pressure on such a young business, but I think Rebel Heroes may already be the best food truck going.” (http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/youngandhungry/2010/05/05/rebel-heroes-may-already-be-the-best-food-truck-on-the-streets/) He also writes, “These are lusty and multi-layered sandwiches that lean on tradition without being beholden to them.” MULTI-LAYERED??!!?! How can a sandwich with barely any ingredients that are bland and not fresh be multi-layered?

Nothing angers me more than when I read idiotic reviews from people who try to foray into foods foreign to them and base how a dish should be by that ONE experience. Professional food reviewers know the food they are eating very well and it is not uncommon for a reviewer to visit an establishment multiple times to check for consistency.

There really is nothing rebel about Rebel Heroes.

Rundown:

Price: High

Service: Good

Food: Bad

Restaurant Décor/Setting: Street Food

http://www.rebelheroes.com/